Hello and welcome! I’m Carmen, and I am currently surviving as a stay-at-home mother of twin toddlers. Before having children, I was a professional with two respectable degrees, a competitive résumé, a large circle of friends, and plenty of hobbies that kept me busy.
Although my former existence was quickly erased after welcoming two healthy, beautiful girls, I have created a new life that feels even better.
A New Outlook
After my twins were born, I struggled to strike a balance between my growing family obligations and my personal needs. The demands of my growing family were my top concern, and I never thought much about where I fit into the whole picture.
As a result, I often felt lonely, unhappy, and incomplete. I didn’t know how I was ever going to find an identity, a lifestyle, a routine that fully satisfied my roles as a wife, mother, and modern woman.
Fit4Twins was created as a way for me to share the ups and downs I have experienced as a mother of twins, but also as a place to develop and pursue my creative projects, hobbies, and interests. This blog is the culmination of a three-year struggle to find something that was my own.
With a change in perspective and a lot of courage to try to break out of old habits, I am proud to be a mother, a wife, and a woman who eats healthier, enjoys challenging exercises, tweaks recipes, sketches and colors for fun, meets for play dates, sews simple projects, and surrounds herself with other inspiring women who greatly improve her quality of life.
A Life Full of Signs
From a young age, I had always dreamed of being a mother and found myself chosen as a favorite among toddlers in my neighborhood. They all knew my name, even if they couldn’t quite yet pronounce it. As a teenager, I was a natural pick as a babysitter and had the market cornered on my street. Kids of all ages were fun to me, and I loved being a big sister to my much younger brother who served as my “practice baby.” If I could help take care of him, I would be prepared for parenthood one day. At least that’s how I saw it then.
Looking back now, I should have known I would not have it so easy. Not only is parenting more challenging than babysitting, but I should have also read the signs and understood that I was destined to be a mother of twins.
Fraternal twins run in my family. I was over 30 years old when I conceived. A freakishly accurate psychic told me on a couple of visits that I would have twins. Even in middle school (or junior high as it was called back then), when it came time to pick out the fake baby we had to care for in health class, I was assigned twin girls. (Of course, at this age, I totally romanticized the idea of having real twins.) All these signs were somehow trying to prepare me for my inevitable fate. But until it happens, you never truly believe it could happen to you.
I will never forget the moment I went to see my doctor after an at-home test indicated that I was pregnant. After months of trying, and some heartbreak along the way, I remember laying quietly on the examination table when the doctor said, “It could be two.” The wave of joy and happiness that washed over me is indescribable and yet remains so vivid in my mind.
I had no clue what was going to happen over the next 32 weeks or so, and I had no idea what it would be like to have two live babies to care for. I think perhaps that was a good thing for me because all I could focus on was joy, even when the doctor warned that it was “too soon to tell” and that sometimes one of the dots on the ultrasound “vanishes” before the next exam. This overwhelming sense of elation and positive thinking carried me through the toughest moments in my pregnancy and difficult delivery.
Less than 60 hours after our daughters were born, my husband and I were sent home to care for them. My mother was there to help from day one, and we had some assistance here and there from friends and other relatives. Despite our small army (3:2 sounds pretty good on paper), none of us had any prior experience with the kind of sleep deprivation we encountered in those first weeks.
We could not have known just how difficult it was going to be to get two very different babies on the same eat/sleep cycle, and we had very little time to figure out much of anything other than those babies’ immediate needs. The first six months felt like an uphill battle, and the first year is one we are happy to be done with. Despite the challenges we faced during those initial twelve months, I assure you that we did manage to squeeze in some fun here and there.
If you’re in the first year of twinning and struggling to see the fun (like I often did), I hope that my stories will help you to relax and find ways to see the lighter side of things. We all get through it somehow and look back at the experience with pride (and maybe a sigh of relief).
What’s Your Story?
We all have a story to tell, and I love hearing them. You may email me at email@example.com, but I hope that you will also leave comments, questions, and feedback on my site. I have created it for you. Happy, healthy twinning!